Queer Language as a Tool of Resilience: A Pride Panel Discussion

Language: A Tool for Survival and Self-Discovery

Hosted by Samet, Senior D&I Manager, the panel kicked off by acknowledging the challenging global landscape for the LGBTQIA+ community, noting instances of banned DEI terms and restrictions on Pride flags. In such times, language becomes even more crucial.

Casper, a Software Developer in Partner Tech, bravely shared their personal journey of discovering their trans identity. Growing up in a deeply conservative household, they lacked the vocabulary to understand their feelings. "Not having a word for it meant that I couldn't really express it to people," they explained. The moment they encountered the term "gender dysphoria", it was a "night and day" shift for their mental health. Having the language to articulate their experience allowed them to connect with others and find support.

Laura, who recently transitioned into a new role in Retail overseeing Markets and Loyalty at Lounge, spoke about raising children in a two-mum household. She highlighted how language has evolved for her, from defining her individual queer identity to describing her family unit. Laura shared the candid honesty of children asking about her family structure, sometimes leading to unexpected positive reactions like, "That's not fair! They get to have two mums!"

Reclaiming Words, Reclaiming Power

The discussion then moved to the concept of reclaimed language – taking back words once used to shame and transforming them into sources of pride. Christopher, a Strategy and Projects Manager in the Partner Platform business, powerfully recounted being called slurs as a child. He described the moment he realised he was "not alone" within the queer community, surrounded by a supportive network. This collective strength allowed him to reclaim those hurtful words, stripping them of their power. "Now if somebody drives by and yells 'f*g' out the window to me… 'Yeah.. and?’ is basically my response," Christopher shared, demonstrating incredible resilience.

As Jigeesha, a core member of the Mental Wellbeing ERG and also a Strategy and Projects Manager in the Partner Platform business, pointed out, "communication overall helps build resilience and language is the key tool to be able to do that." It's about shaping your own narrative and fostering a positive self-perception.

Queer Language in the Mainstream: A Double-Edged Sword?

The panel also delved into the increasingly mainstream presence of queer language, from ad campaigns to TikTok. While this visibility can be validating, it also comes with caveats. Casper expressed their personal discomfort when cisgender people use certain queer terms without understanding their history or connotation. "I went through a lot of hell to not be a girl anymore," they stated, explaining why being called "girls" in jest by a non-queer person can be hurtful.

Christopher offered a different perspective, highlighting the positive aspect of these words becoming more widely known and acceptable. Growing up in the '90s, he lacked relatable queer figures in the media. Now, the broader exposure means more people have access to this language, which can aid in self-identification and understanding. Ultimately, while we welcome respectful use from outside the community, we must also protect the integrity and history of queer language.

Allyship in Action: Listen, Learn, and Lead with Trust

So, how can allies best show up? The panelists offered valuable advice:

• Be open to feedback: If you misuse a term, be receptive to correction. As Laura noted, people often unintentionally "just say the wrong things," and grace and understanding is essential on both sides.
• Don't be afraid to ask: If you're unsure about a term or how to navigate a situation, ask. Christopher emphasised that many in the queer community are "happy to help educate" and guide.
• Utilise resources: Casper highlighted Zalando's internal Gender Affirmation Guides as a great resource for understanding terminology.
• Foster mutual respect and accountability: We're not aiming for a mistake-free workplace, but one where trust allows for constructive feedback. As Jigeesha put it, true allyship requires a "curiosity on both sides to be willing to create awareness."

The panel talk concluded with an energetic queer slang quiz, "Mother Tongue: The Zalando Edition," a fun way to celebrate the richness and evolution of queer language. Prizes made from recycled Pride truck banners were also a highlight.

We wrapped up by underscoring that resilience isn't just about surviving; it's about thriving and drawing strength from community. Queerness reminds us that real strength comes from solidarity. Let's continue to hold each other up, especially when others try to hold us down or weaponise queerness.

Learn more about Queer language from Zalando employees: https://zln.do/4564gVc